Lesson #10 – Never Be Loyal

Yeah, yeah, I know … theory says that loyalty pays off. But the theory never says what the payment for loyalty is.

From the lessons I’ve learned recently. I finally understood that loyalty is for fools … aka abnormals. An abnormal would believe in the theory mentioned above and will foolishly think that if they are loyal to a person, a company, a cause, this will be seen and rewarded. All is nothing but a big lie.

Let’s see a few examples:

You probably know of heard about people being loyal to the same company for years, then when they grow old, and they are close to retirement, they get fired without remorse. Weren’t they fools to believe that staying loyal to the same company will pay off in the end? They never thought the payment will be a sheet of paper saying: you’re fired!

Here’s another example: an abnormal would accept to work in a job he/she likes, but doesn’t pay much. He/she makes many sacrifices to keep working in that job, and believes all the promises made by his/her boss about having their salary increased after a while. Do you really think that loyalty, dedication, care for the company will pay off? Nope … not even a dime. Instead, after a while, the boss will hire someone else to work on the same position, but he would pay that person three times more than the abnormal. The abnormal will still be kept around, will be given less and less work, hence less and less money, and no explanations or ideas of improvement will be given. The abnormal will try to find out what did he/she do wrong, and how can he/she improve in order to get to have the boss’ promises kept by him, but the boss will be totally silent. Or at time he will say: “You did nothing wrong. Nothing changed for you.” Loyalty pays off? Sure it does! It translates in less work, less money, less everything.

So … NEVER be loyal! To a company, to a person, to a cause … NEVER! It’s not worth it. Become a normal person and work only based on YOUR advantage, not on others advantage!  If you find a better job, don’t look back: just leave, and follow your own interest. If you find better friends, kick off the old ones, and go after the new ones! ALWAYS go by the principle: If it is not about YOU, it is not important!

Next time, I will tell you how I’ve learned to be a good christian.

Till then,

Enjoy

Category: Loyalty  10 Comments

Lesson #9 – Encourage Incompetence

Encourage Incompetence and – obviously – discourage competence.

I was in an international group a while ago, formed of all ages and all categories of people. At some point, they decided to sing, one by one. Whoever thought they have a voice, were stating their wish to participate. It is well known that not everyone has a voice or a musical ear, so I heard some horrible noises presented as singing. What I was shocked about was the reaction of many of the people in that group: they were cheering and applauding the ones with bad voices, as if they had angel voices. The worst part came when two or three youngsters decided to try their luck and talent and sang really bad. Besides cheering and applauding, the people I told you about started to encourage the young ones to follow a career in singing, being certain they will have a big success.

At first, I thought that they were only polite but then …

I visited a forum on the internet where people were having a drawing contest. Whoever thought they have a talent for drawing were posting their drawings there, waiting for comments. And to my horror, I have noticed, again, the same reaction: the worst of the drawings were getting the most applause and encouragements of following a career in drawing.

And then I wondered: why is this happening? How can a mature person encourage a youngster to follow a path they have no calling to? Isn’t it obvious for them that by doing that, they are massively affecting the youngster’s life? The young one will think: “If the mature ones said I am good at singing, drawing, or anything else, then I should believe them. They are older, hence wiser, so they know better than me what’s good for me, right?” And they would follow that path and fail miserably. Then they will wonder what went wrong? Why did they fail when everyone around them was telling them that they are sooooo talented?

I kept watching this phenomenon ever since, and I think I found the explanation: if you encourage someone to follow a path they are incompetent to, you:

  1. Cannot be blamed for discouraging them
  2. Kill the possible competition even before it was born
  3. You are recognized and praised as such a supporter and a nice person!

This is the way normal people actually act.

What would happen if you would be honest with a person without a talent and tell him/her that they would actually need to put their efforts into something better and something they are actually good at? This is what an abnormal person would do. You know what the reaction would be? They would hate you instantly because they see themselves differently. They will think you are jealous of their success and you want to kill their creativity and enthusiasm. None of them would think that you actually try to help them. To make them think that maybe the path the others are encouraging them to follow is not their path by far, and they should explore other possibilities as well.

Also, a normal person would discourage the competent ones. I mean, why would you say “Well done” to someone who actually deserve it? What if they would ask something from you in return? Such as a pay raise, for example? Or a promotion, eh?

And, as a normal person, never repay competence  with a higher payment or a promotion! NO WAY! If the abnormals agree to work for you for peanuts, why bother change that? It shouldn’t really matter to you that they ARE competent in what they are doing and they have been loyal to you for a long time. You might lose them, but why would you care? The lake is full of fishes, isn’t it?

Next time, I will talk about loyalty … actually about how you, as a normal person, should never EVER be loyal.

Till then,

Enjoy!

Lesson #8 – Twist the Truth to Serve Your Purpose

From time to time I re-read “If”, by Rudyard Kipling, just to remember how to be a “MAN”. It’s not an easy path to follow for anyone. It’s not a smooth highway; it is merely a steep mountain path. If you chose it, you are actually walking it barefoot. You get hurt a lot by the sharp rocks which try to stop you. It is up to you if  you will stay on it up to the end, or let the pain turn you into another sharp rock that will try to stop others from following this path. Some people would say that you are crazy trying to walk it. I would call you an abnormal. While the rocks which try to stop you, I would call them the normal people I keep talking about in this blog.

So, this time, these two verses drew my attention more than any other time:

“If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,…”

We all know that in general, a truth is not absolute. It varies depending on how each participant was involved in it, what interest they have, what state of mind they had at the moment when a situation was built. This is why when you ask ten people about the same event, they will tell you different … or slightly different stories. As an investigator, you wouldn’t actually be able to see the absolute truth about that event.

Let’s imagine an event happening between two people: a normal person and an abnormal one. The abnormal person, with his/her strong moral values set, will tell his/her version as close to what actually happened as possible, even if sometimes the details would hurt him/her. An abnormal person does that: taking responsibility of his/her own words or actions no matter the consequences. The normal person, instead, will only tell the parts that will put him/her into a positive light, and will take only portions of what the abnormal person said and use them against the abnormal person, twisting the truth to serve his purpose.

The problem here is that – since most of the people are normal – they will believe the normal person version, and will raise the stone against the abnormal person more than this one deserves. At this point, nothing from what the abnormal person would say in his/her defense, it would simply not matter.

The situation I have been through was even worse. The normal person – by the way: the snake in Lesson 6 – did all her poisoned speech and presented chunks of a discussion we had in private (which in the initial context were not against me, but she twisted them to seem like that) in a community which I could not access, so I simply could not defend myself. The normal people of that community never ever bothered to learn both sides of the story. Why would they do that? They simply took an unjust decision based what one of their kind told them.

The bad thing about this story is that it hurt at that time. Not anymore now.

The good thing about this story is that in the process I found out once again who is a real friend and stood by me in those times, and who only pretended to be my friend, but they fraternized with the snake.

Do I want to be such a person like the normal one described above? No! No way! But there’s another lesson I have learned – the truth of an old saying: “The one you won’t let die, won’t let you live.”

Till next time

Lesson #7 – Be Arrogant

There is a time in life when you, as a normal person, can start being arrogant and – of course – improve this new status to perfection. Most of us start in life from the bottom and try to go up. Not all of us are born rich and / or famous, we try to build that all our lives. Some make it, some don’t. But you’ve made it, so you are entitled to be arrogant.

First thing first, completely forget where you started from. Starting from the bottom is shameful and only for the fools. Obviously you will never tell anyone that that’s where you started from as well, but you will make sure that you will belittle everyone in that area, mainly pick on the ones who started together with you but never got to your fame or wealth. They are probably the abnormal ones who have those silly moral values, and would not accept to step on dead bodies to reach their goal, like you – as a normal person – did.

You will have to show them how tough you are, how smart you are, how beautiful and unparalleled you are. Of course, you will use the method described in Lesson #2 – Brag About Yourself and Your Activity, but not only that. You will learn and start using complicated words, you will roll your eyes and sigh deeply when the abnormal around you will not understand them, but of course, you will indulge them and show them how friendly you are and after asking them “you never heard this word, have you?”, you will explain to them what it means in a superior way, and treating them like retarded children.

Another method is to correct them all the time. You will hunt their mistakes and will present the correction as a favor. Of course they will have to thank you for wasting some of your precious time and will fall on their back in amazement of your smartness.

Nothing the other ones around you do will be good enough for you. Everything will stink, and you will show them how low they are compared to you.

There are many methods to show your arrogance, but once started on this path, you will discover them yourself.

However, remember this: there is a huge difference between being arrogant and being vain. Arrogance can be healed.  Vanity – NEVER!

As an abnormal person, I would rather have an arrogant around me – and be able to mock them rather than have a vain person which is really a waste. But that is only my abnormal person opinion ;).

Till next time

Category: Selfish  One Comment

Lesson #6 – Be A Snake

Ok, so … what’s more pleasant than being a snake? A snake is a beautiful creature, with those beautiful eyes, and that awesome skin, crawling unheard around its victim, hugging it as if it is a friend; pouring poison in the victim’s blood, just to make it unaware of what will follow. And when the victim is unable to defend anymore, the snake either suffocates it, or casts the deadly bite.

Translated into the world of normal people, the snake is usually a woman (I’m sorry, ladies, but that’s what most of the women are). When she casts her eyes on another woman’s man, she adopts several strategies: she does everything in her power to bewitch the man, who forgets who was actually the woman who stood by him in the most difficult moments of his life. Another strategy is to befriend with the man’s partner and pretends to be a friend to her. She would criticize the evil man who is hurting the poor woman, she gives hugs, and she promises with tears in her eyes and voice that she would never touch him, no matter what. She is pouring her poison just to increase the victim’s confidence in her, and when the time is right for her, she strikes. All promises, all tears just prove to be lies. But this is specific to snakes, right?

Snakes don’t have moral values. This particular snake once told me: “It is not my fault that your man is talking to me, and becoming closer and closer to me”. When I told her that her moral values – I still thought she had some – should tell her to reject him, since he is involved into a relationship already, she started her poisonous flow of tears, telling me that by no  means she is interested in my man, and that she dearly loves her husband – yeah, she was “happily” married when all this happened. And then I remembered someone saying: “Never build your happiness on other people’s unhappiness”. And yet, the snake and the backstabber built their happiness on other people’s unhappiness. Is this a sign of hypocrisy? It is by me, and yet, another lesson learned.

What this lesson taught me? If you want to be happy, step on friends bodies, be a snake, be a backstabber and have absolutely no moral values: in three words – be a bitch! And you will succeed!

What the snake forgets though is that she is not the only snake in this world. And also, the same snake forgets that their skins end up being purses or belts.

Till next lesson

NOTE:

I had a lot of comments on this post, most of them from the people who knew the case I wrote about, and one from one of the characters described. I am choosing to not make them public out of at several reasons:

1. The ones commenting so far have a dose of subjectivity, which is normal, since this particular case developed in a pretty small virtual community. However, even if I have been reminded that, I’m old enough, and I have see enough in my life to know that the story happens all the time, and even worse, in real life. The casualties in virtual life are minimal … some souls hurt, and that’s it. In real life though, the damages are far worse: families broken apart, children (which are always the innocent victims) who feel guilty and insecure, material loss and so on. Snakes like the one described here do precisely the same in real life, without caring a bit about all that, other than their own (temporary) happiness.

2. Knowing that virtual community too well, I do not want the ones commenting here to be hurt and bashed.

3. The “snake’s” comment will not be posted either, and not because I do not want to let the other side tell their story, but simply because she never told her side of the story in her post. She only insulted and proved to me how shallow she is, and that she understood nothing out of this story. Oh, by the way, you can sue me, as intended. You will make the day of the court and make them laugh for weeks, if not longer.

Anyway, I promise to post any comment that comes outside that particular virtual community, since the commenters will not be touched by subjectivity. 😉

Lesson # 5 – Be a Backstabber

This is one of the nicest ones!

Say that you have a friend who shows up in your life when you needed them most. They lend a hand, a shoulder and an ear to you in such a way that you actually come to the conclusion that you owe them your life. As a normal person, make sure that you will tell them that. Thus, the pain that you will provoke later on will be even bigger, and your satisfaction absolutely complete. The fact that your friend did that just means that he/she is part of the abnormals. A normal person, of course, would never do that! So, since they are abnormals, they actually deserve what it is to happen to them. By lending you the hand/shoulder/ear, they asked for it!

But let’s not rush things.

Other things that you can do in order to spice all this: make yourself trustful to that friend, make them believe that they can trust you 1000%, more than anyone else they can ever trust. Ask for them to help you or accept anytime they offer to help you. Oh well, you can help back from time to time, just to not make them suspect anything. As abnormal people, they helped you without expecting any help back, so they will only be grateful to you for giving them your attention and helping them. Oh, and never forget to keep prizing them, tell them how great they are and how much they did for you. They are usually modest, so they will say something like: “Nah, it was not a big deal at all. I would do it for you anytime”. And they will be honest when saying that, because you know … they think that they are helping a friend in need! They are stupid enough as to believe that you actually are their friend. Even better when they consider you their best friend! They cannot expect / suspect anything bad coming from a friend, can they? Even less from their best friend!

Something else that you can do is giving them hopes. Of course, false hopes, but you will have to encourage them, nourish them, make him/her dream! A shattered hope or dream is always beautiful to watch!

Now comes the fun part. When you grew strong enough and you realize that you no longer need them, HIT! Make sure that you hit them REALLY hard, as hard as possible. If they have a weak heart, it’s even better. It’s none of your business if they will make a heart attack! It’s not your fault that they got into this. You simply realize that you don’t need them anymore, so it is time to throw them to the trash bin. You don’t need such weak people around you! They will only stop you from your way to glory! YOUR glory, of course. Oh … don’t misunderstand me. When I said “hit them”, I didn’t mean the actual violent gesture, that would be just primitive. Hit them with your words and deeds. Words hurt more than a real hit. You can crush a person with a single word. You know their weaknesses since they trust you and consider you their best friend, so, of course, in their stupidity, they already let you know what their weaknesses are. So, make sure that you hit them where they hurt most.

As soon as you did that, say a short “I’m sorry” then turn around and mind your own life, without looking back. Of course, in their stupidity, they will be fine having their life, hopes, dreams shattered, but patched with a simple “I’m sorry”. After all, as I said before, they asked for it.

And to add even more fun to all this, find yourself a new victim. You can use the old friend that you just crushed as an excuse. Complain about him/her, and how hurt you felt for any reason – it doesn’t matter which – and use a sad voice, and cry a little bit … tears always help. And you will see someone lending their hand, shoulder, ear to you, and you will understand that you just found another abnormal that you can take advantage of and do your little dirty game with them.

And on and on and on … you can do it endlessly.

You might say that all this sounds so cruel. Well, it might, but it’s not. It’s real life! Look around you and see how many people do it without blinking. If you are not one of them, then you are an abnormal, and you deserve to be treated like that. Just remember: people do to others what the others allow them  to do to them. If they allow you to hurt them, then why not do it? It’s fun – for you, of course, and it is the certain way to success. It’s not you the one who suffers, it is them. And as long as it is not hurting you, why would you care?

Oh, and as a last note. Sometimes the abnormals might feel the need to ask you a favor that would make them happy and you unhappy. Make sure that you clear your throat and you shout your lungs out to them: “Never build your happiness on other people’s unhappiness!” Of course, this applies only to them in relation to you. They will stop trying to make themselves happy, and will do their best to make YOU happy. Of course, if they ever dare to quote you when you hurt them and build your happiness on their unhappiness, just ignore them! They simply cannot be original.

Until next time…

Lesson #4 – Be Annoying

One of the most important lessons I have learned in my journey to being normal is to be annoying.

In this aspect, there are two categories of people: the ones who are annoying and the ones who are annoyed by the first ones. The annoyers (yay! this is really a word in English!) do it because it is fun. Of course, it is fun only for them, and not fun at all for the others. But why would the annoyers care about this? In the end, it is only about them and nobody else but them! What about the others? Who cares? It is their fault that they cannot find fun in the annoyers’ annoyance!

These are some of the things the annoyers do:

  • Act in a repetitive way. Like for example, beat a rhythm of their own with the pen on the table. Or play with coins or the car keys over and over again, in spite of the obvious behavior of the others who clearly show to them that they are annoyed. Or say the same thing over and over again, without stop, no matter what. This reminds me of a joke: “A few people were travelling by train, and one of them started to complain: “Oh, how thirsty I am … Oh, how thirsty I am …” and he did that for a long time. In the end, one of the other travellers gave him a bottle of water. The man drank it, then with a satisfied sigh he started to say: “Oh, how thirsty I was … Oh, how thirsty I was …”
  • Break the fun of others. If the annoyers find out that something brings joy to someone else, they make everything possible to destroy that. I mean … why would others have fun? Isn’t it funnier to destroy that and see people miserable and annoyed?

When asked to stop their annoying activities, the annoyers will NEVER do it! Quite contrary, if anyone does the fatal mistake of asking them to stop, they will not only continue to be annoying, but they will multiply that, either by themselves, or by dragging other annoyers into it.

Now looking at both sides – the annoyers and the annoyed ones – I realize that the annoyers are the ones acting as normal people, while the annoyed ones are the abnormal ones. The annoyers have a lot of fun by making the other category of people miserable, stepping on their personalities, their soul, their pride. Again, it is the abnormal ones’ fault that they cannot find the fun in being annoying or being annoyed! It takes the old-fashion concept of common sense to not be an annoyer, and to realize that everyone has the same right to have fun and feel good. But the annoyers lack common sense. They consider it a deprecated concept, or a concept for fools.

Think on which side are you, or on which side you want to be.

Until next time,

Cheers.

 

Category: Annoying  Tags: , , ,  6 Comments

Lesson #3 – Be A Hypocrite

There are so many examples to be given about being a perfect hypocrite that I felt the need to split in in several parts. I don’t know how many yet, but there will definitely be more than two.

Why be a hypocrite first of all? Well, because like that you will be able to turn a situation that you were aggressively against when it happened to others, into a favorable situation for you when it happens to you.

For example:

You are in a community where a set of rules was set, and everyone pretty much respects it. However, although I am not saying that rules are there to be broken, there are times when the situation requires for the rule to be a little bit flexible, and with everyone’s agreement, it can be adapted to that particular situation.

Step 1

Start by being completely and aggressively against that! I mean, a rule is a rule, and if it is broken, it creates a precedent. Put a blindfold around your eyes so that you won’t see that things in life are not always strictly black and white. Make sure that you shout your lungs out about that, until everyone will agree with you (it doesn’t really matter that some of them did it only to get rid of how annoying you are! Ignore that, as any normal person would do it.)

Never ever do like I usually do: support the cause with logical arguments (of course, if the logic is not yours, then it’s worthless), and show people that sometimes there are colors in the world besides black and white.

Step 2 (which is extremely important)

Life has this humorous tendency of repeating situations. If anyone ever thinks that this or that situation cannot happen to them, well … life will laugh back at them and hits them with precisely that kind of situation.

So, be sure that one day the situation in Step 1 will happen to you too. But you, as a normal person that you are, will be prepared for that, and guess what? You will totally agree and plead in favor of the rule to be made flexible in your case. The same very rule that you were so much against, of course! You can always say that you can be an exception to the rule, considering what an important role you had in the past for that community (even if this is not true – if you have any hesitations about that, go read Lesson #2 – Brag About Yourself and Your Activity), and that people actually owe you the bend of that rule in your favor.

What will this bring to you? Well, of course, it will turn that situation in your favor. You will not be very popular between the abnormals, and you might hear people here and there saying What a hypocrite, but you should not care! You turned the situation in your favor AND you have the confirmation that you are on the right track in learning to be normal!

Till next time,

Cheers!

 

Lesson #2 – Brag About Yourself and Your Activity

Brag about everything you are doing. Get noticed, place yourself in the light. No matter how small or insignificant your activity is, brag about it. Shout it out loud, in each and every occasion: during the coffee break, during meetings or while going out with friends … brag, brag and … oh … BRAG!

At work, for example … it doesn’t really matter that what you brag about is actually what you are supposed to do by your job description, and you should do it anyway. The more you talk about it and the more details you give about how you did that work, the more the attention will be drawn at you. Compared to your colleagues, who will perform their duties in silence, your boss will notice you, not them, and this will bring you a fast promotion. Are you ready for a fast promotion? It doesn’t really matter! Will you be able to perform your new duties as a newly promoted employee? It doesn’t really matter, once again! You can do a mediocre work anyway, but continue to brag about it as much as you can! Besides, once promoted, you can become a tyrant and ask your subalterns to do the work that you are supposed to do for you. Oh, and you can apply what you learned in Lesson #1 – Be Selfish and Self-Centered: ask for help, and help will be given to you.

At home, or in your private life, tell everyone how great you are, and how hard you work, and how much you involve yourself in all kind of causes. Exaggerate in words whatever you are doing. Like for example, if you just ate a chocolate bar on the street, and threw away the wrap in the trash bin, brag about how much you care about saving the environment. People will fall on their backs in awe, and they will give you as an example to be followed by their children. How would they do this otherwise if you don’t let them know about your huge accomplishments, like throwing a chocolate bar wrap to the trash bin?

If you ever get to help someone, tell everyone about how kind you are, and how that person wouldn’t have solved their problem if you were not helping them. It doesn’t matter that you are belittling them, and make them feel inferior and regretful that they even thought about asking for your help. It’s not important as long as you will be the savior hero! You will be the star, and people will start wondering how could they cope without you around.

THIS is how normal people act. Performing your default duties in silence and unnoticed will never bring you recognition, promotions, money, success. You might get to despise the braggers, and avoid them, but this will not bring you a Ferrari at your door. Instead, learn from them, and make as much noise about yourself as possible.

Till next time,

Cheers!

 

Lesson #1 – Be Selfish and Self-Centered

YOU are the most important person in this world! YOU are the belly button of the Earth, and there is nobody out there better than YOU are.

Everything you do, should be for YOURSELF first of all! Demand from the others to help you. They should leave what they were doing and gladly jump to help you. I mean … why not? After all, YOU need help, not them!

Oh well, sometimes they need help too, and guess what? They will come to you to ask for it. As if you are supposed to return the favor… Of course you can help them, but always do it only if there is something in it for YOU. Help them only out of the goodness of your heart is not fun and not productive. Come on! We are speaking here about YOUR time, YOUR money, YOUR brain, correct? It doesn’t really matter that they spent their time, money and brain when they helped you. After all, you didn’t FORCE them to do it, right? And it is not YOUR fault that they didn’t ask anything in return, it is theirs because they let you take advantage of them for YOUR own good.

So yes, my friends, this is precisely what NORMAL people do. This is one of the many normal ways in which they find success. This is how they solve their problems: they ask for help for themselves, and they get it from the people with big hearts. You might say that it’s not going to work for too long for them, and that one day they will no longer get the help they ask for. But you know what? They will ALWAYS get that. If not from the ones they ditched, but they will definitely find other suckers who will help them again and again.

It is up to you if you want to be altruistic (read abnormal), and struggle all of your life with your problems, and be the only one helping yourself when you need it, or chose to be selfish and self-centered (read normal) and insure your success by taking advantage of the others.

Till next time,

Cheers!