Lesson #1 – Be Selfish and Self-Centered

YOU are the most important person in this world! YOU are the belly button of the Earth, and there is nobody out there better than YOU are.

Everything you do, should be for YOURSELF first of all! Demand from the others to help you. They should leave what they were doing and gladly jump to help you. I mean … why not? After all, YOU need help, not them!

Oh well, sometimes they need help too, and guess what? They will come to you to ask for it. As if you are supposed to return the favor… Of course you can help them, but always do it only if there is something in it for YOU. Help them only out of the goodness of your heart is not fun and not productive. Come on! We are speaking here about YOUR time, YOUR money, YOUR brain, correct? It doesn’t really matter that they spent their time, money and brain when they helped you. After all, you didn’t FORCE them to do it, right? And it is not YOUR fault that they didn’t ask anything in return, it is theirs because they let you take advantage of them for YOUR own good.

So yes, my friends, this is precisely what NORMAL people do. This is one of the many normal ways in which they find success. This is how they solve their problems: they ask for help for themselves, and they get it from the people with big hearts. You might say that it’s not going to work for too long for them, and that one day they will no longer get the help they ask for. But you know what? They will ALWAYS get that. If not from the ones they ditched, but they will definitely find other suckers who will help them again and again.

It is up to you if you want to be altruistic (read abnormal), and struggle all of your life with your problems, and be the only one helping yourself when you need it, or chose to be selfish and self-centered (read normal) and insure your success by taking advantage of the others.

Till next time,



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7 Responses
  1. Russell says:

    You seem to have something on an axe to grind here.
    Most ‘normal’ people have altruistic leanings as well. See for example the massive response that Australians made donating to the flood relief effort, which gained them no advantage, and was entirely for other peoples benefit. A good portion of Australia donated, so unless we’re an entire nation of ‘abnormal’ people I’d say you’ve missed the mark with this analysis of what is normal or not.

    • Tiana says:

      True, Russell, but why such things happen only when it comes to disaster? Are you absolutely sure that the people who donated for the flood never passed by a hungry person on the street without caring? Where is the normality: caring about the others ALL the time, or only from time to time, when it is convenient to us or we like to show how “generous” we are, or make us feel good inside, thinking that we did our duty to the society?

      • Russell says:

        Maybe they did pass by that homeless person on the street, but caring about everyone all the time is, with our current neuronal structure, fundamentally impossible. Our brains simply aren’t capable of generating a genuine emotional response to the suffering of anyone outside of about 150 people.
        Instead of admonishing people for their lack of other charitable acts, you should acknowledge them for the good they do. Giving to charity may be ‘abnormal’ under normal circumstances, but it’s not anymore the fault of most of these people than the colour of their hair.

        Instead of relying on individual emotional responses, we need government enforced donations to other countries. We have government-led welfare payments for this very reason. Relying on everyone ‘doing the right thing’ is not feasible.

        The original paper re: brain size vs. social network can be found here:
        Following the links will yield plenty more if you are interested.

        • Tiana says:

          The link is not working.

          However, I taught positive attitude for more than 9 years, and taught people to behave in what I considered to be a normal way: be altruistic, do your job conscientiously etc. That was by the time when the internet was not as extensive as it is today. So now, by checking the internet, I have seen a lot of sites teaching people the same things over and over again. And then I looked around me (not only in my country, but in other countries as well), and what did I see? For most of the people, all those teachings don’t mean anything. If they would, all or most of them would follow them, right? We would all care more about each other (and yes, I know so well that you cannot care about everyone!), we would all or most of us be better persons, but the reality is completely different! And I am asking myself: why???

          If you would read the post A Few Words About the Style, you would notice there the warning about the sarcasm of this site. About this site is pointing the fact that I am not trying to teach anyone anything (anymore). I am just posting the lessons that I am learning each and every day. I am looking at successful people and try to understand how do they get their success. Relating this to your comment on donation for the flood, do you really think that the successful people would donate because they have a good heart? Or would they do it to cast the light on them (OMG, he/she is soooo generous!), or be exempted from paying extra taxes? Eh?

  2. Aldo says:

    first, altruism is the best way to get laid
    second, most people that help do it cuz other people told they already did, if they dont do it they will be seen as scum
    third, the first reason to help in a dissaster (at least for mexico) is cuz you have lived one and you know you will need help sometime soon
    altruism is none existant

  3. Aloha! My colleague has advised me to have a look at your site. And I’d like to say that I really appreciate what you’re posting here.

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