Archive for the Category » Bragging «

Lesson #3 – Be A Hypocrite

There are so many examples to be given about being a perfect hypocrite that I felt the need to split in in several parts. I don’t know how many yet, but there will definitely be more than two.

Why be a hypocrite first of all? Well, because like that you will be able to turn a situation that you were aggressively against when it happened to others, into a favorable situation for you when it happens to you.

For example:

You are in a community where a set of rules was set, and everyone pretty much respects it. However, although I am not saying that rules are there to be broken, there are times when the situation requires for the rule to be a little bit flexible, and with everyone’s agreement, it can be adapted to that particular situation.

Step 1

Start by being completely and aggressively against that! I mean, a rule is a rule, and if it is broken, it creates a precedent. Put a blindfold around your eyes so that you won’t see that things in life are not always strictly black and white. Make sure that you shout your lungs out about that, until everyone will agree with you (it doesn’t really matter that some of them did it only to get rid of how annoying you are! Ignore that, as any normal person would do it.)

Never ever do like I usually do: support the cause with logical arguments (of course, if the logic is not yours, then it’s worthless), and show people that sometimes there are colors in the world besides black and white.

Step 2 (which is extremely important)

Life has this humorous tendency of repeating situations. If anyone ever thinks that this or that situation cannot happen to them, well … life will laugh back at them and hits them with precisely that kind of situation.

So, be sure that one day the situation in Step 1 will happen to you too. But you, as a normal person that you are, will be prepared for that, and guess what? You will totally agree and plead in favor of the rule to be made flexible in your case. The same very rule that you were so much against, of course! You can always say that you can be an exception to the rule, considering what an important role you had in the past for that community (even if this is not true – if you have any hesitations about that, go read Lesson #2 – Brag About Yourself and Your Activity), and that people actually owe you the bend of that rule in your favor.

What will this bring to you? Well, of course, it will turn that situation in your favor. You will not be very popular between the abnormals, and you might hear people here and there saying What a hypocrite, but you should not care! You turned the situation in your favor AND you have the confirmation that you are on the right track in learning to be normal!

Till next time,



Lesson #2 – Brag About Yourself and Your Activity

Brag about everything you are doing. Get noticed, place yourself in the light. No matter how small or insignificant your activity is, brag about it. Shout it out loud, in each and every occasion: during the coffee break, during meetings or while going out with friends … brag, brag and … oh … BRAG!

At work, for example … it doesn’t really matter that what you brag about is actually what you are supposed to do by your job description, and you should do it anyway. The more you talk about it and the more details you give about how you did that work, the more the attention will be drawn at you. Compared to your colleagues, who will perform their duties in silence, your boss will notice you, not them, and this will bring you a fast promotion. Are you ready for a fast promotion? It doesn’t really matter! Will you be able to perform your new duties as a newly promoted employee? It doesn’t really matter, once again! You can do a mediocre work anyway, but continue to brag about it as much as you can! Besides, once promoted, you can become a tyrant and ask your subalterns to do the work that you are supposed to do for you. Oh, and you can apply what you learned in Lesson #1 – Be Selfish and Self-Centered: ask for help, and help will be given to you.

At home, or in your private life, tell everyone how great you are, and how hard you work, and how much you involve yourself in all kind of causes. Exaggerate in words whatever you are doing. Like for example, if you just ate a chocolate bar on the street, and threw away the wrap in the trash bin, brag about how much you care about saving the environment. People will fall on their backs in awe, and they will give you as an example to be followed by their children. How would they do this otherwise if you don’t let them know about your huge accomplishments, like throwing a chocolate bar wrap to the trash bin?

If you ever get to help someone, tell everyone about how kind you are, and how that person wouldn’t have solved their problem if you were not helping them. It doesn’t matter that you are belittling them, and make them feel inferior and regretful that they even thought about asking for your help. It’s not important as long as you will be the savior hero! You will be the star, and people will start wondering how could they cope without you around.

THIS is how normal people act. Performing your default duties in silence and unnoticed will never bring you recognition, promotions, money, success. You might get to despise the braggers, and avoid them, but this will not bring you a Ferrari at your door. Instead, learn from them, and make as much noise about yourself as possible.

Till next time,